Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Xochitl-Julisa Bermejo

IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT GOD

My brother had me listen to Revolution 9 once.
Man’s voice spouted, number 9 number 9 number 9.
“It’s a world with no God,” he told me.
Number nines floated in air; number nines numbed my
mind. “Without God we’re just a number.” I listened
to conversations, clashing, chaos, and pictured a five-star restaurant
filled with nine-shaped patrons. White linens, candles, roasted garlic
wafting in, and people with featureless circles set atop
sloping shoulders: blank space in the place of tongues.

22 comments:

  1. I Love it. Mmmm.... roasting garlic wafting in.....

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  2. I love your take on the theme number nine. Very original. Me encanta!

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  3. I have a new appreciation for Revolution 9 now. You've created a vivid and captivating image--Was it there all along?--a restaurant and the din of activity there. It's intriguing too to think that the image is supposed to communicate a world without meaning, but at every table there's a story, every cook, waiter, busboy and dishwasher is working for something.

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  4. this poem is amazing. i love the imagery of being #9s at a fancy restaurant. i imagine a room full of people hunched over their food.

    vivid and fabulous, fabulously vivid.

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  5. Your choice of words works well the imagination to paint a very vivid picture!

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  6. Several entrants used "Revolution #9" as a theme for this contest (I almost did too) but this may be the best of them. Surreal, thought-provoking, and whimsical in a skewed kind of way.

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  7. I don't want to have a featureless circle on my shoulder

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  8. Your imagery lingers with me - isn't that the test of a poem - so that we see familiar things in a new way? You've done that. Love the way you worked another number in there with the five star restaurant to really throw the 9 into the forefront. Well done!

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  9. this one is the winner hands down!

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  10. There’s so much richness here it takes my breath away: the high concept of this Godless world, brought to life through rhyme (“number nines numbed my mind”), alliteration (conversations, clashing, chaos) and the juxtaposition of a five-star restaurant, marked by elegant images, with the creepiness of the nines, who have no mouths with which to eat. Absolutely wonderful!

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  11. This is one of the most interesting pieces I have read on this blog spot. It has a comfortable rhythm and good structure. The abstract, missing God in the singular world, is pure poetry, of course. I would like to write poetry like this, myself.

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  12. I'm reposting this comment to the correct poem.
    Your poem reminded me of that scene from "Being Jon Malcovich" Where he enters his own mind and sees the world only as himself. We project ourselves on to other people. Most of the time without even knowing it. Our own hopes, our own fears we don't see the person in front of us. Especially the fears, concerns about money. 9 is right before the next 0.

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  13. Congratulations! Well-deserved....

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